Savage Words: Fathers of the bride: How’d you do it?

I went to a wedding last week in downtown Sioux Falls. Cool venue, spectacular food, good friends, and tears.

Tears from me, at least.

One of my buddies gave away his little girl last Saturday, and I don’t know how he did it.

I suspected he’d struggle a bit. 

He did.

But he also managed to put together a heroic effort. He got through it all: the walk down the aisle, the “her mother and I” at the front of the congregation, and most difficult – in my mind at least – the Father of the Bride speech at the post-wedding festivities.

I’ve dreaded – and I use that word literally – that day since my daughter was born. I remember holding her when she was just a couple of minutes old. I looked down at her and said: “What are going to be?”

It was also at about that moment when I realized her wedding day – whenever that may be – is going to be tough on her dad.

Last week, I turned my head and looked at my buddy as he stood in the back of the church with his little girl on his arm. He, clearly, had had a moment before stepping out to the crowd.

But he handled it. Made it down the aisle.

He said “Her mother and I” very loudly, and with confidence, when the minister asked “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” After seeing him fight back tears on the trip down the aisle, followed by his boisterous approval of his new son-in-law, this friend was doing all I could to wipe away the tears streaming down my face.

I know that’s probably weird, but I also know that I’ll never make it when my daughter celebrates the same thing … someday. As a way to, perhaps, mentally prepare for the day, I walked with my daughter down the aisle last weekend after the ceremony was over. 

We talked, laughed. 

I told my daughter ever since she was little that I won’t be able to do what my friend did last week when he gave one of the best Father of the Bride speeches I’d ever heard. 

I simply won’t be able to do it.

But, I’ve also told my daughter that I have a plan to make it a memorable speech. And I do have a plan. I’ve told no one, and it won’t be revealed until the day she walks down the aisle. 

But the entire day is going to be tough. From the build-up, to the walk down the aisle, to the “her mother and I” statement, to the dreaded Father of the Bride speech.

I’m going to get through it, but I’m also open to help. So, I ask you Brandon, how do I get through it?

What’s the secret sauce of managing emotions, managing this day that is somewhere on the horizon? My gut tells me there isn’t one, and it’s just one of those ‘right of passages’ you need to go through in life. 

But I’d like to hear what do you think? Hit me up at staffwriter@bvjournal.info. I’d love to hear anything that might help.

I’m not so certain walking down that aisle with her last week helped ease any emotion for what the future holds. It was a tiny glimpse into what I’m going to feel one day. 

Anxiety, no doubt. But, pride, for sure.

If you should happen to be at my daughter’s wedding down the road, buy stock in Kleenex beforehand. You’ll make a fortune, and I’m happy to help.