Savage Words: She asked me, 'How are you doing?'

One of the great things about being a journalist in today’s mobile world is that you can pretty much do your job from anywhere. If they’ve got good wireless, you’ll likely find me hammering away on my laptop.

I work from Brandon quite a bit at various coffee shops or restaurants. Again…good wireless…and I’m there.

I actually live in Sioux Falls, but likely spend more time in Brandon than many who actually call Brandon home. But there is a coffee shop in downtown Sioux Falls that I frequent quite a bit.

I’ve gotten to – sort of – know all of the baristas at the bustling coffee shop, and we chit-chat as they’re creating caffeine concoctions for patrons sometimes five-deep on a Saturday afternoon. It’s normally just a quick hello and a “how’s your week been?”

All of the baristas are young women, probably 25-30 years younger than me. All friendly, all seemingly interested in what their customers are up to.

One in particular however, stopped me last week as I was banging on my keyboard.

“How are you doing,” she asked.

“Fine,” I said with a smile.

“Just asking because so many times when people get asked how they’re doing, they simply say just that – fine,’” she said, almost with a concerned look on her face. “So, how are you really?”

I really was fine. Good, actually. I told her that my life consists of sitting in different coffee shops or restaurants each day as I write stories. My health is good, I get to see my Augustana freshman daughter almost every day, and I really don’t have a worry in the world.

But her question made me stop. Made me think. Actually, made me feel better about the younger generation. This young woman had enough empathy at 23 years of age to ask how I was – and mean it.

I thought perhaps she asked because of the time of year. Afterall, the holidays can certainly bring a heavy load for people. I have some friends who grapple with their emotions in November and December.

A week after the barista asked me how I was, I returned to the coffee shop and asked her why she did it.

I also thought perhaps it was a reflection of the recent pandemic. My daughter was a freshman in high school when COVID crept across the globe and shut everything down. I felt sorry for her. Actually, I felt sorry for every young person who had to deal with it during some of their best years.

The young woman at the coffee shop would have been 20 years old when the world changed. But she told me the pandemic wasn’t the reason for her question. She’s always done it, she said.

Her voice cracked a tad when we talked about it. I think it surprised her a bit when I brought it back up. I returned the favor and asked her how she was – and I meant it.

She was fine. Good, actually, and I believed her.

Her question two weeks ago gave me hope in mankind. If a 23-year-old semi-stranger cared enough to genuinely ask how I was, imagine how she feels about her loved ones.

There are way too many young people in this world who care.

We’re all going to be okay.

But, I’ll pay it forward and ask you as well: How are you doing?

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