Jill's Journal: "Lambie"

Security comes in so many ways in our early years of life.

Maybe it’s a parent’s hug. A thumb in the mouth. A doll. A warm cookie. Or a blanket.

Mine was a stuffed lamb named other than, “Lambie.”

It was a gift from my grandparents when I was barely old enough to feed myself, and wherever I went, Lambie was sure go, too. (Sound a bit familiar you ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ fans?) As I filter through the old black and white photos of my toddler years, Lambie could be spied attached to me in every one of our family pictures.

In its better days, Lambie was a light hue of green. It had warm eyes, a pink nose and ears lined with silk. Apparently, as my mother told me years ago, I loved those silk ears so much so that she had to replace them time and time again. I guess I simply wore them out.

When it was naptime, that was the only time that mom could snatch Lambie away from me for a quick wash and dry. Because Lambie was with me nearly every step of every day, my first trusted companion wasn’t always that pretty hue of green. She told me that if I woke before Lambie was out of the dryer, I would stand in front of the machine and cry as Lambie tumbled to and fro and around and around.

She also told me that as soon as Lambie came out of the dryer, my tears dried up and were replaced with a smile.

It was several years ago that mom dashed into her bedroom, opened her dresser drawer of keepsakes, and pulled out what appeared to be a small, tattered piece of material. I found out that was all that was left of Lambie. It was no longer that soft green color that I remember it to be. It was just a small section of my toddler-era security, but yet, my mom felt it was special enough to hold onto all these years.

When I cleaned out mom’s dresser following her passing, I came across the fragment of material that once was part of Lambie’s existence. Gone were the warm eyes, the pink nose and those all-important silk ears. But the memories of a girls’ first “best friend” have long remained with me.

Years down the road, my grandma – the same one that gave me the original Lambie – gifted me a replacement. Last weekend, as I sorted through the final boxes after moving to my new place, I came across Lambie 2.0.

This version is off white, features warm eyes, a pink nose and two ears, minus the silk.

It made me smile.

No matter how old we grow, there’s comfort in security, even when it comes in the form of a soft hue of green with warm eyes, a pink nose and silk ears stuffed animal.