The Absent Uncle: Time moves forward with or without you

My mom used to say to me that she stopped reviewing the obituaries in her local paper because she didn’t know anyone. All had passed.

I do think that what she said is probably not quite true, as she did remark about this person passing early or that person was a scion of a person she may have known. So, I knew she still scanned that page. Whether it be page 2, or any other traditional page in the local periodical, we all, at some point, become aware of the obit’s listing (well, maybe not all). She and I used to kid about whether the area publication printed those deceased in alphabetical or chronological order. (We both preferred alphabetical, it seemed much more orderly.)

So today, I was scanning my page 2 of the local paper, seeing the names, and noting the age of the deceased. And of course, comparing it to my current age.

In the old days, (10 years-plus before today) I would have seen those ages of those that passed and felt some remorse for them as they did not live out the years we have come to expect (and that I have gratefully achieved). But times have changed; years have passed, realities imagined and become so much more real.

Getting back to today’s scan, no one that I knew (even a little bit) on the page, but those ages were so close to mine. A couple of years younger, the same as mine, and maybe a year or so over. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood for the close cluster around my age today. It happens.

I like it more when I saw a person 10-plus years older than me had passed, giving me the imagined time that I wanted. Even better, 20-plus years, although those obits are getting fewer and fewer. We all want more time; we hope to expect more time, and frankly we believe (most or some of us) deserve more time.

Spoken like a true optimist to the end.