From the Pulpit: Football applications for church life

It’s football time again. The pros are in their pre-season games, and this week many high schools begin their fall games, including Brandon Valley. 

With all the excitement the football season brings, I want to share with you an anonymous analysis of the use of football terms as they apply to church life.

Quarterback Sneak: Church members who quietly exit a quarter of the way through the service, or near the last quarter of the service.

Draft Choice: Selection of a seat near the door.

Draw Play: What too many children (and a few adults) do with their attendance cards or bulletins.

Halftime: The time between Sunday School and preaching (or vice versa).

Benchwarmer: Those whose only participation is their attendance Sunday morning.

Fumble: Dropping a song book, singing the wrong verse, not turning off the cell phone, and general inattention to the service.

Backfield in Motion: Making two or three trips out of the sanctuary during the sermon.

Stay in the Pocket: What happens to a lot of money that should go toward the local work.

Two-minute warning: When the preacher begins extending the invitation, giving everyone time to shuffle papers and gather belongings.

Sudden Death: The preacher going overtime.

Blitz: The stampede for the doors after services.

Halfback Option: When 50 percent of the congregation does not return Sunday or Wednesday evenings.
Have a great football season, but don’t play football in church.