From the Pulpit: Forgiveness

After Erika Kirk forgave her husband’s killer in front of thousands of people, there has been a lot of conversations about what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. Though I doubt that I could succinctly cover such a big topic, I’d like to give a couple thoughts. 

[Note: forgiveness and trust are different things – forgiveness is a decision, trust is earned]

Is forgiveness the letting go of anger and desire for retribution from within? Is forgiveness the reconciliation between two parties, where one has been sinned against? I suppose the short answer is, “yes.” 

Let’s handle the latter one first. Read John 20:23. This passage teaches us that forgiveness is reconciliation. That, from a Christian perspective, forgiveness is to be given if someone repents of their sin. In that case, there can be reconciliation. But, if someone does not repent, they are not to be given forgiveness and there can be no reconciliation. 

So, if someone is not sorry, I am to withhold forgiveness. If so, what, then, am I to do? Sit in bitterness? Get spun up every time I think about that person? Hold that rage inside of me? 

The short answer is, no. John 20:23 is saying that you can’t offer the comfort of Jesus’ forgiveness to someone who is not sorry for their sins. Without a doubt, Jesus stands ready to forgive them and likewise, so do you, but not sorry means no forgiveness. 

In a situation like that, how do I deal with that personally? Another reading assignment. Read Matthew 18:21-35. If you know how big of a sinner you are (hint: you’re a big sinner) and you know how much that you’ve been forgiven (hint: you’ve been forgiven a lot), then the natural result of that is that you are ready to forgive and you want to forgive. 

You see, you’ve been reconciled to God through Jesus. Jesus is the one who brought you and God back together.  

That’s a big key. Your ability to forgive flows from God’s forgiveness extended to you. If you believe in God’s grace, then grace flows from you. So, even if someone sins against you and isn’t sorry, you stand ready to forgive. You’ve let go of the anger and bitterness in your heart. 

It may seem like a Herculean feat (and apart from Jesus, it is)! But, when you find yourself getting spun up about someone who sinned against you or when you find yourself marinading in bitterness – don’t focus more on the person who wronged you or what they did, but instead focus on your Savior and what he did for you. You are forgiven and God has made you a forgiver!