Jill's Journal: Now here’s a nutty idea for Brandon

There’s a new tourist attraction just down the road to the east that’s pretty impossible to miss.

Literally.

Our neighbors in Luverne, Minn., have erected the world’s tallest nutcracker – a patriotic fellow named ‘Verne the Patriot’ who stands 65 feet, 7 1/2 inches tall and sports a beard, a striped top hat and even a working jaw.

It’s hard to imagine someone driving along Highway 75, glancing out the window and saying, “Honey, is that a giant nutcracker?”

To which the only appropriate response would be, “Why, yes. Yes, it is.”

And just like that, people are pulling into town.

The beauty of the whole thing is that Luverne didn’t build a giant nutcracker out of thin air. The town already had thousands of nutcrackers thanks to Betty Mann’s remarkable collection. They simply decided to embrace something that made them different.

Sure, it’s quirky.

It’s also memorable.

And it’s so wonderfully Midwest.

Verne was assembled in pieces over the course of a couple years. Sometime after the first boot showed up, I remember joking with a colleague that Brandon ought to piggyback off of their giant nutcracker with a giant nut.

Now there’s an idea that deserves at least a few minutes of serious discussion. After all, every town needs a claim to fame.

Mitchell has the Corn Palace.

Wall, of course, has Wall Drug.

Sioux Falls has Falls Park.

Luverne now has Verne.

And Brandon? We’ll, we’d be home to a giant nut.

I suppose the first order of business would be deciding just what kind of nut we’d want to memorialize.

A peanut seems a bit too ordinary.

An almond feels way too health-conscious.

A cashew? Awkward.

Personally, I think a walnut has the right amount of character. It’s rugged, uniquely shaped and, let’s be honest, after sitting through my fair share of city council and school board meetings over the last four decades, I’ve seen enough cracked wal“nuts” to know there’s plenty of local examples to come up with just the right design.

Of course, the planning process would be more than entertaining.

Our Planning & Zoning Commission would surely dictate size, shape and just exactly where it would be allowed. And, don’t forget the signage, because a display like that is clearly going to need an explanation.

Our City Council would discuss whether the nut should be illuminated.

Perhaps the Park Board would suggest adding a splash pad next to it, or maybe another pickleball court.

Before long, we’d have a “Save the Nut’ committee and another group demanding the nut be moved because it blocks someone’s view of the sunset.

Brandon Ask & Tell would surely perk up. And somehow, Brandon’s water woes would pop up in the posts.

One resident would insist the nut should be six feet taller.

Another would complain it wasn’t brown enough.

Someone else would post that they heard from a guy whose cousin knows somebody at City Hall that the nut was actually going to spin every hour while patriotic music played.

By the end of the week, half the town would believe it.

There are other possibilities of how the nut would be regarded. Teenagers would likely outfit in some sort of Lynx gear. The Brandon Lutheran Quilters would probably make it a blanket to keep it warm throughout a South Dakota winter.

Our local Chamber of Commerce could organize a fundraiser in the form of a “Guess the Weight of the Nut” contest.

And of course, somebody would surely suggest that we light it up pink every Valentine’s Day, green every St. Patrick’s Day, and of course, red, white and blue on every patriotic holiday on the calendar.

To be honest, I admire what Luverne has done.

In an age when so many communities are trying to copy everyone else, they doubled down on something uniquely theirs. They took an unusual story, wrapped a little imagination around it and created something people are talking around it and people are pulling off I-90 for a close up and personal view of Verne.

As for Brandon, I have an inkling that we’re going to be just fine if we forgo the world’s largest nut idea. We’ve got growing neighborhoods, a top-notch school district, thriving businesses, Huset’s Speedway, the Big Sioux Recreation Area, championship athletic and fine art progams, and a whole lot of community spirit.

So, I guess we don’t really need a 30-foot tall walnut to put us on the map. But, if somebody does decide to build one, I suppose we should do it right.

There will need to be speeches.

A Chamber of Commerce ribbon-cutting.

Maybe even a parade.

And, of course, the obligatory front-page Brandon Valley Journal photo of local dignitaries proudly posing beside Brandon’s giant nut. Now that’s a story that’s sure to “crack” everybody up.