Jill's Journal: Life as we know it is changing ...

I knew the day would come when my mother’s age and health would change life as our family knows it. Mom has been the centerpiece of our family since my dad’s passing 13 years ago to the a day last week. We’ve all stepped up to help with home projects inside and out, and making sure that she’s cared for, despite the miles that are between us.

That day came in recent weeks, and I thank God that he nudged me to make an unplanned visit to see her earlier this month. It was a typical Saturday morning that had mom and I hanging out in our PJs when the phone rang. I guessed it was my brother who was likely on his way to tackle a job outside her house that day, but instead it was her doctor. I could tell from the tone of her voice that the call wasn’t good news, and when she handed me the phone so he could fill me in on what he was seeing on the CT scan she’d had the day prior, the “not good news” inkling I had, was instantly confirmed.

He revealed that she likely has Stage 4 lung cancer, and unfortunately, there’s no cure, just measures that could be taken to prolong her life.

Perhaps she was processing the hand she’d just been dealt, but no tears fell from her eyes or questions of “Why me?” voiced.

I cried.

And I hugged her tighter than I ever have hugged her before.

Then, we talked about the next steps: to go forth with a PET scan, which we did last week, and solidified her doctor’s initial diagnosis: Stage 4 lung cancer. The mass, we’ve learned, is big and has taken up residency on a lung and her heart.

That certainly explains why she’s been so short-winded and more sedentary than usual. 

My mom is choosing not to go through a potentially risky biopsy and weeks of chemotherapy that would likely follow. 

Like all of you, I can’t imagine life without my mom in it. But I understand and respect her decision. She’s been through too many health issues in her 83 years of life. She’s a breast cancer survivor, has been a picture-perfect patient by keeping her diabetes under control, and has a heart murmur. She’s undergone a knee replacement and most recently, a significant foot surgery that placed her in a swing bed at the local hospital. That’s just a sampling of the “big stuff” she’s battled, and she’s been a champ through it all. 

I’ve promised my mom that I will never force her to go through anything that she doesn’t want to go through, unless, of course, it’s in her best interest. I’m learning now that’s a hard a promise to keep.

She’s my mom, after all, and the woman who’s been the ultimate glue of our family. And selfish as though I may be, I pray for her daily to be here with us for as long as she has a quality life and the Good Lord allows.