Jill's Journal: Be the dad that your little girl deserves

My dad was a great dad.

He was smart.

He was hardworking.

He provided for our family in so many ways, which I guess, wrapped altogether showed his love for us.

He was a dad that any girl should have been so lucky to have.

Unfortunately, not every girl has been as fortunate, like the girl I am about to tell you about. Months ago, a friend of mine shared a letter her daughter wrote to her dad. It’s a letter she had thought about writing for years, and she finally put her thoughts on paper in a letter to him.

She tells him how she’s been heartbroken since 2018 after learning about his actions during her childhood.

“I need you to know that your actions did hurt me, both emotionally and physically,” she wrote.

Her sophomore through senior years of college, she tells him, “were rough.”

And being 12 hours away from home made her want to transfer to a school that was much closer.

“Thankfully, I was blessed with some great friends … that encouraged me to stay and loved me through all of the trying times. They pushed me to work through my relationship with God, which I am forever thankful for. If I had transferred that year, I would not have met some of the most amazing people. … I thought you should know that your actions changed so much for not only our family, but each of us individually.”

As a youngster, she tells her dad how she had looked up to him.

“You were my best friend and I never could have imagined life without you,” she writes. “You were hurting our family and I was young and everyone was protecting me. … I understand that you may have been hurting and not happy in your marriage or with your children or the life that you had, but one thing that I see in it all was the faking of it all. We laughed, took trips, did fun things as a family and looking back, I wonder if it was all a lie and just pretend.”

She goes on to tell him that she cannot be the one to judge his actions.

“God will do that,” she said. “I can only forgive and hope that you will meet Him at His feet and pursue a relationship with Him.”

“I have no clue what having a father is like.”

I surely can’t understand the pain of that sentence. 

“I will not have a father that my future husband will ask permission from to marry me, I will not have one to walk me down the aisle, or to have a father-daughter dance,” she tells him. “Thankfully I have so many amazing people as well as father figures in my life that I’ll be OK, but it’s hard to remember what a father-daughter relationship is like. And that hurts me the most.”

Despite her hurt, the young woman describes to him the woman she is becoming.

“I truly am stronger and I am very proud of the person I am becoming,” she said. … “I wish we had a relationship like we used to, but sadly, we never will.”

My dad was a great dad, something I’ll forever be grateful for. But as you just read, not every girl has a dad that she deserves to have.

This Father’s Day – and all the Father’s Days to come and days in between – please, be the dad that your little girl deserves.