The Absent Uncle: Changes

Remember how you made a plan, followed the plan, and finished the plan?

How many times did you have to make changes to the plan either to follow or finish it?

Seems like most times. We just can never foresee all of the complications, change of circumstances, sometimes the expenses, and most of all the need to just make it work. (I left out abandon the plan, as I want this column to turn out positive.)

I’m in the midst of just such a process now. My mother-in-law (age 89) moved to the Houston area from southern California a couple of years ago. She settled into a comfortable apartment and was prepared to make the adjustment. She actually had more family in close proximity to her here in Texas than she did in California, and we were very willing to assist in any way we could to make the change easier. It was a big deal to sell her property and move to a new state.

For a while it worked – that nesting process kept her busy and before long her apartment mirrored her personality and looked like – in the words of all her kids who visited – “mama’s place”. Pictures, memorabilia, the look and feel. So comfortable.

But then, slowly but surely the missing of being near other friends and relatives she had been around for 50-plus years; the familiarity of the geography and where to go for “stuff” became an issue that just wouldn’t go away. Her comfortable apartment became an issue for her as she didn’t want to be so comfortable in comparison with other friends and relatives.

So ever so slowly, it became apparent that the plan was changing, that a move back to California was going to happen. And now it is happening. We are assisting in the execution of that new plan, but it reminds me of how life can change, how plans can change, and how having choices to make those changes is so important to taking care of yourself.