The Absent Uncle: The aftermath

This week’s column, in a way, is a continuation of last weeks. So, if you are a regular reader you will understand (thank you!) – if not – this is the time to look at a subscription to the Brandon Valley Journal so you would have the background and insight into what is happening with the Absent Uncle. 

Sherrill has returned from California after the passing of her mother; now about three weeks ago. She and her sister drove back to the Bay Area (where her sister lives) in order that she could fly back to the Houston area with our son, who just happened to have to fly to Houston as well on a business trip.

By flying with Ben (who travels very lightly and has a higher status with the airline) allowed her to bring along a bit over 90 pounds of books, pictures, mementos, and other precious mother things that she found in her mom’s apartment without the extra baggage fees, much less his physical ability to carry and deliver the “goods”. 

The trip went off without a hitch and the last few days have been a succession of how tired she is, to “look at this”, “I wonder who that person is in the picture”, “I remember mama having these on her bookshelves”, to “what are we going to do with this stuff?”

Ben (when he has been available when not doing what he is here to do) has been an active participant in the unpacking process. Trying to learn as much as he can about his mom’s side of the family. There’s been lots of “I didn’t know that” and “who is that again”.  It has been very enjoyable, and I suppose a healthy side of the grieving process.

But I can’t help but wonder … what if we all had taken the time over the past few years to go through these same items and get the whole story, and probably a lot more of the blanks filled in with rich details.

Like last week, it comes back to being prepared. Taking steps to make sure not only are the day-to-day functions covered going forward, but that you take advantage of the resources (loved ones) that are ultimately, most finally going to slip away and take those stories, the details, and their memories away, never to be accessed by us again.

It just takes time. Time we now have, they have. It’s just a reminder for all of us before it’s too late.