The Absent Uncle: ‘Calendaritus’

As I approach the completion of my 73rd trip around the sun I am reminded of one of my favorite doctors that I had the good fortune to care for me.

I had moved to the Wichita, Kan., area in the late 1990’s and needed to find a physician that I felt comfortable with (and was comfortable with me). After a couple of misfires, I was referred to Doc Keller by a co-worker with the warning: “He is hard to get along with if you don’t do what he says”. 

Forewarned, I made an appointment with Doctor Keller, and at the first appointment found him to be about my age, very personable, and someone I felt quite comfortable discussing my health with. He was realistic, obviously experienced, and gave me some detailed instructions on my food and drink intake for the next 30 days for a follow up blood draw. 

I proceeded to not pay attention to his directions and was confronted very directly at the 30 day later meeting.

“If you aren’t going to follow my directions and allow me to adjust your medications accordingly, I really don’t want you as a patient”. (Pretty close to a direct quote.) 

Since he was used to guys like me, he gave me another 30 days to evaluate my next move with a stern warning of his ultimatum.

He got through to me. And I had the best care I could have imagined for the next 15-plus years.   

Very short with his diagnosis, he never held back on his criticism of insurance companies, and I got clear answers to my health concerns and what next steps were necessary.

As I got older, the aches and pains were a bit more numerous and discussed at our normal six-month visits. He was a patient listener, with precise questions, and from the discussion I knew he was listening, caring, and looking out for me. 

I think one of my favorite answers I received from him, after hearing about random and minor “it hurts here when I do this, and I can’t do this something anymore”. He looked at me sincerely and told me that I was suffering from “calendaritus”. Not familiar with the term and hoping it wasn’t serious, I asked for an explanation.

With his wry smile he answered, “You have had a lot of calendars in your life so far, this is what happens”. He was a great doc; I have a good one now, too, but there was only one Doc Keller.